I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
