after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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