ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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