There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
As shirtless as possible
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
