I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Damn victory sex feels great
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