do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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