does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
