drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
