One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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