this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
