I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.