he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
