During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
