I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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