they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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