my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize