He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
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Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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