you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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