got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
