i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
