Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
