It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
