Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
