I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
