we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
