3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize