Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
