FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
