My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
