if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize