My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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