Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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