You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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