im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
