so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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