More tranny stories later!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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