I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
