I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
