Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
