Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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