Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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