There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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