i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
