I cockslap morals
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
