Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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