we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
