yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
