that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
