I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
