i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize