Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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