All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
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At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize