I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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