Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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