she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
