dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I love having hate sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
