You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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