it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize