He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
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He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
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We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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