I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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