shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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