Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
