Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
