Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
