maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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