3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
