I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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